Elizabeth Marie Gauthier (nee' Kiley)

Elizabeth Marie Gauthier, known to her family as Mamarama, Bet, Nana, or G-Nana and to her friends as Betty, passed away on Wednesday, April 23rd in the ICU at Chowan Hospital in Edenton, North Carolina after a brief illness. She was, for all of her 91 years, a kind, compassionate, loving, but strong Irish lass who, in spite of a debilitating physical and mental decline, kept her spirits high, expressed her deep love for her family every day, and “did not go gentle into that good night” (to paraphrase poet Dylan Thomas).

Betty was born in Pawtucket, Rhode Island to Maurice Leo Kiley and Margaret McDermott. She was a devout Roman Catholic for her entire life; even after mobility issues prevented her from attending mass in person, she found comfort and spiritual renewal in the Daily TV Mass broadcast from various congregations in Canada. She graduated from West Pawtucket High School in 1951. In 1956, she met the love of her life and future husband, Ralph Armand Gauthier. Ralph had recently completed his military service in the US Air Force during the Korean War. She and Ralph were married on June 15, 1957 in Pawtucket.

After the end of his enlistment, Ralph began a 27 year-long career as a covert communications officer with the US Central Intelligence Agency. Betty would fearlessly accompany her husband to numerous duty stations around the world; at all times, she would faithfully protect the secret of her husband’s true job and mission. She learned to live carefully in many foreign countries with unfamiliar languages and strange cultures and use different assumed identities to protect her husband, his fellow covert CIA officers, and the overarching goals and missions of US intelligence covert operations around the world.

During this complex and uncertain time, Betty also served as a loving and protective mother to their two children: Linda Marie (born in 1958) and Gary Michael (born in 1961). Betty instilled in her children the strong, insular, and protective love and understanding necessary to keep their family safe and happy in some places in the world where Americans were not welcome and CIA personnel and their families would be at grave risk if their true identities and missions were either known or suspected.

In 1968, Betty and Ralph finally returned to the United States, where Ralph was assigned to CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia. Their family would make their home in Prince William County, where Betty and Ralph would enthusiastically support their kids’ high school activities and sports teams. With her parent’s encouragement, Linda would go on graduate from George Mason University and begin a successful career as a critical care nurse and eventually a Family Nurse Practitioner. Gary would follow his father’s footsteps into a lifelong career with the CIA.

Ralph would pass away in 2013; however, Betty’s grief would be made more bearable by the arrival of her beloved companion dog, Rudy the big yellow lab. Rudy would faithfully remain by her side for (years). When Rudy passed away, Gracie the chocolate lab took his place as Betty’s canine best friend.

Due to the onset of significant health issues in 2023, Betty moved in with her daughter Linda and son-in-law Tom in their home just north of Edenton. Linda, Tom, and home health nurse Bea Holley would become Betty’s primary caregivers. Gracie would happily join the family furry pack with Kevin the cattle dog and Raven the Australian shepherd, and the three barn cats: Jazzy, Jack-Jack, and Saoirse. As her health continued to decline, Betty would still express her love for her family many times every day; at the same time, she delighted in frequently singing songs from her child and young adulthood. She was ecstatic with the births of her first great grandchildren, Adaline and Benjamin.

Betty is survived by her daughter, Linda Abbott and husband, Tom Abbott of Edenton; her son, Gary Gauthier and his wife, Barbara Robertson of Star Tannery, Virginia; her granddaughter, Ceili Elliott, grand-son-in-law, Calvin Elliott, and their children, Adaline and Benjamin of Perquimans County; and her grandson, Casey Abbott and his fiancé, Grace Trudeau, and their golden retriever Bleu of Washington, DC.; and numerous nieces and nephews in New England and New York. Betty will be deeply missed by her friend and caregiver, Edwina (Bea) Holley, who brought sunshine into her cloudy days.

Throughout our lives, our parents are our first and best teachers. Frequently, hopefully, their lessons bring joy. Sometimes, the lessons are difficult or painful to learn. Betty…in her gentle and unassuming way, taught us the strength of devotion to one’s mate—or to one’s family, and the courage to follow and care for that person to the ends of the world—or to the end of their life. She taught us to be ever mindful and to pay close attention to the details…for that attention may ease a pain or save a life. And, most importantly, she taught us the true and operative meaning of the Biblical admonition that “Love bears all things”….a lesson that we must practice….every day of our lives.

God bless you, Betty….and keep singing. Our hearts are listening……for your new voice….and your new song…..among the angels.

The family will greet friends from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. on Monday, April 28, 2025 at the Miller & Van Essendelft Funeral Home, 735 Virginia Road, Edenton, NC 27932.

A Funeral Mass will be held on Tuesday, April 29, 2025 at 9:00 a.m. in St. Ann Catholic Church, 207 N. Broad Street, Edenton, NC 27932. The family will greet friends in the parish hall, immediately following the mass.

Miller & Van Essendelft Funeral Home, Edenton, NC is assisting the family with arrangements and online condolences may be made by visiting www.millerfhc.com